What do you think about more? Good times or bad times?


We are still not separated on paper but living separate under one roof since quite some time now. And yes, I do not hesitate to accept that I do miss him…sometimes a lot. Whatever has happened has happened but missing him is something I can’t help myself with.

I have tried a lot not to think about him, let alone miss him but in vain. When he hurt me a lot, I used to think about all the bad times, the fights we had and felt miserable. I spent sleepless nights, cried to sleep numerous times.  Then there was a time when fights came to an end and followed a period of silence..utter silence… as if there are no words left to be said.

It was during these times and now that I think about the good times we spent together.  Even looking at him makes me crave for his love sometimes. It hurts so much that I feel my heart will explode. And he seems to be totally unaffected by it. And that is what tortures me literally. And I think more and more about the good times. I feel like I am just stuck in a loop and there is no way out.

I don’t think i can stop missing the good times (and bad) unless i do not see him around me physically atleast. Otherwise, he is still a part of my life and somewhere buried deep inside, he will always be in some form or another.



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