It was very very difficult and seemingly impossible at times to come out of the broken relationship a month ago. I went for counselling with few people and finally figured out what I needed, upto some extent atleast.
What I was doing wrong??
1) I was thinking only about the good times that we had together and asking myself the questions what went wrong and what wrong did I do?
It’s good to have sweet cherishable memories but when things don’t move as beautifully, these memories poison our lies. They hurt and hurt so much that life seems to be full of despair only.
2) I talked about my problems with family and close friends on a regular basis. This used to make me feel light which is good momentarily. But that did one invisibly bad thing to myself. When people console you for what is happening to you, you actually stop looking for solutions within yourself. The fact is this was my fight and I had to figure out how to overcome the sorrows and come out of it.
3) I kept trying, in vain. This made me so vulnerable and weak emotionally. When I needed strength, I was weakening myself actually.
What did I do to overcome it??
1) I thought about the bad he did to me. Yes!!! It helped me dislike him (can’t hate him still!). This was necessary for me to love myself again.
2) I have stopped sharing everything with others. I try to ponder over things myself, however long it takes and however it hurts me. I try to think what I should and should do. I might take advice later about my decisions. I might do something wrong, but that is how I will learn, after falling.
3) Counselling from strangers. They give unbiased advices. They don’t have a so-called soft corner for me. They might point out my mistakes more bluntly, but that’s truly required.
4) I tried to strong against him. Stopped crying in front of him. Hung up on him… made him feel how it feels when you are not hard and ignored. Not that I want to do ‘tit-for-tat’ all the time, but he has to be shown a mirror!! (This came from one of the counselling sessions )
I hope it can help some of the people going to the same unfortunate things I am going through.
What have you done to come out of such situations??